Selfishness is Supreme and Another Family Dies. The Backlash of Pursuing Happiness.

I deeply appreciate Switchfoot's sentiment in their song titled Happy is a Yuppie Word. Not what you would call an uplifting song, but the message throughout the song holds true. This chasing after the concept of happiness is really something that was popularized in the 60's and 70's and used as a marketing tool in the 80's with the Yuppies. It is a fruitless and fleeting pursuit that does hurt the people around you, despite what the selfish promotion would claim.

I have a friend of a friend of a friend who's family is being destroyed today. Not trying to assume I understand the circumstances leading up to where they are today, but I can guarantee you, it is this prevailing ideal of happiness played a huge part in it. Happiness depends on circumstances and external events... things that are not dependable and strangely, remove any personal responsibility and accountability for one's self.

Without revealing too much, the mother wasn't getting what she wanted from her husband, reconnected with an old boyfriend, and decided the old boyfriend would give her what she wanted better than her husband. How they had reconnected and the dangers and pitfalls associated with social networking sites are great topics for a different post. What really matters is this mother is taking her children, uprooting them from the life they have had for the past few years, the friends they made, and most importantly their father. She is taking them to another state to live with her and the new boyfriend (who incidentally is leaving his family as well).

The thought process of this mother is along the lines of "it is my time to be happy" and that "the children would want her to be happy". So basically, theses children who have already been doing poorly at school and having personal difficulties because they know there are problems with their parents, have been stressed and other issues. Now these children are supposed to take upon themselves adult issues and perspectives. So the children are expected to desire more for the parent than the parent is to desire for their children. Isn't that backwards? Isn't that expecting the child to have maturity beyond their years? And the parent relinquishes their maturity and responsibility.

I thought that once you have a child, your job is to provide for that child at least for the first 18 years. The adult's responsibility is to that child and to the child's well being, physically and emotionally. When did that change?!? At what point did the parent no longer need to put their child first? The child did not ask to take on that position. You may say, neither do all parent's ask to take on that responsibility. The problem with that kind of thinking is that the parent's decisions resulted in a consequence. You cannot always choice your consequence, but you certainly are aware of the chance of pregnancy being possible when you engage in certain behaviors. So let's not once again play the victim but instead this time step up and accept our responsibilities like big people are supposed to do.

Please don't hear what I am not saying. I am not saying that we cannot be happy. On the contrary, Christians are supposed to be filled with joy. Joy is outside of circumstances and is about accepting personal responsibility. Joy is about choosing your outlook on a given situation. Joy is maintaining proper perspective and seeing the good and hope in a situation. Sure, you can be happy as well because the circumstances allow. But be happy because of the contentment you have in what you have and what God provides. Don't go around expecting other people and the next great thing to make you happy. Don't relinquish your responsibilities and your control to others. Don't chase after the illusive rainbow that moves as you move. Life takes work, but the rewards are worth it.

So put your trust in God and His promises. He is faithful and He will not let you down. His Word gives us the secrets to this thing called life. And it only makes sense.... He created the game, so His rules are going to be the ones that work best. Put other people first. Put other's needs ahead of your own, knowing that God will reward your efforts. What you will find out is what so many before you have found out, you will have joy and peace and contentment and know a love more satisfying than anything you have known on this earth. Chase after what truly fulfills and never fails.

And most importantly, if you are finding yourself heading down a path you never thought you would be on, open your eyes to all who are truly affected by your decisions. Pray for perspective, seek sound Godly counsel, and mirror your decisions as closely as you can to the sound and proven principles of life. And then step up, accept your choices and responsibility, and make the changes inside yourself needed to benefit the ones around you. Despite what you may be thinking now, you will get more than you ever hoped for in return.